Monegasque frolics

Rainier simply adored me. I mean, Rainier and Grace did. In fact, they use to say that when I went to the principality, the sun shone stronger, the sea was bluer, and Grace's jewelry simply glowed. I am not given to blushing, however, this couple praised me so much I looked like a redneck's neck.

They always insisted that I go to their sophisticated domain during the week of the Grand Prix, especially at the time when I lived in Paris. They often sent a jet to pick me up, full of champagne and caviar.

The year was 1972. I did not want to go to the Grand Prix that year, for  I had just returned from a trip to Annapurna, which I climbed in record time. I was a bit tired for clubbing, casinos and parties galore. Rainier called me:

- Chi-chi (that is how he called me), I am sending the plane to pick you up tomorrow.
- Do not do this to me, Rainier, I think this year I will not go.
- None of this, mon ami. Without you the sun shines weaker in Monaco.
- But this year it will rain, Rainier, and strong rain!
- How do you know?
- Well, I graduated in meteorology, don't you remember, at the Sorbonne.
- Then I'll cancel the GP this year. Without you, it is not fun. No Grand Prix this year!

Because of this threat, I decided to go to Monaco once again. I did not want to spoil the party, but to tell you the truth I liked being pampered by beautiful Grace and Rainier.

Once there, I was walking in the pits and who do I see, Jean Pierre Beltoise, a great friend of long standing, who looked a bit worried. The Frenchman took me aside and confided:

- Rodolpho, I do not know what to do with the BRM. The car is very bad. I think I will retire for good or see if Matra can get me a second car. Would you drive it around and see if you can fix it for me?

When Louis Stanley looked away, I entered the car with JPB's helmet. Indeed, the car was not very good at all. I drove around five laps, and when I saw that Stanley was going to the bathroom (he went to the bathroom frequently), I entered the pits and got out of the car quickly. The mechanics thought I was Jean Pierre, who coincidentally also needed to go to the bathroom like his boss. Maybe the food they ate was bad...

I sat with Jean Pierre and gave him some tips. Improvements in suspension, moving the gas tank around, change the wing settings, front and back. All well was written in a piece of paper, in perfect French, one of the 25 languages I speak.

On Sunday, it rained cats and dogs. I had warned Rainier, who even had rain in his name. Well that is coincidence...

At race time, Beltoise jumped to the front, and would not relinquish first position and won. I was glad to have helped a friend ...

But ...

... I asked a mechanic where was the paper where I had written my tips for Jean Pierre. He told me that JP took the paper to the bathroom, for there was no toilet paper, and he had a gut episode, a terrible emergency.

- Did you change anything in the car?
- No, we left it  the way it was in practice yesterday.

It was not my help after all. It was not a Chimentão day , it was Jean Pierre Beltoise's day ...