Count Rodolpho Chimentão, granted, is a little prone to exaggeration. He claims to speak dozens of languages, play several musical instruments and has many college degrees. And does he know people in the right places...Although given to constant hyperbole, Chimentão is actually a likeable character, who barely ever says anything bad about anybody. He does praise himself a bit too much, though.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Monegasque frolics
Rainier simply adored me. I mean, Rainier and Grace did. In fact, they use to say that when I went to the principality, the sun shone stronger, the sea was bluer, and Grace's jewelry simply glowed. I am not given to blushing, however, this couple praised me so much I looked like a redneck's neck.
They always insisted that I go to their sophisticated domain during the week of the Grand Prix, especially at the time when I lived in Paris. They often sent a jet to pick me up, full of champagne and caviar.
The year was 1972. I did not want to go to the Grand Prix that year, for I had just returned from a trip to Annapurna, which I climbed in record time. I was a bit tired for clubbing, casinos and parties galore. Rainier called me:
- Chi-chi (that is how he called me), I am sending the plane to pick you up tomorrow.
- Do not do this to me, Rainier, I think this year I will not go.
- None of this, mon ami. Without you the sun shines weaker in Monaco.
- But this year it will rain, Rainier, and strong rain!
- How do you know?
- Well, I graduated in meteorology, don't you remember, at the Sorbonne.
- Then I'll cancel the GP this year. Without you, it is not fun. No Grand Prix this year!
Because of this threat, I decided to go to Monaco once again. I did not want to spoil the party, but to tell you the truth I liked being pampered by beautiful Grace and Rainier.
Once there, I was walking in the pits and who do I see, Jean Pierre Beltoise, a great friend of long standing, who looked a bit worried. The Frenchman took me aside and confided:
- Rodolpho, I do not know what to do with the BRM. The car is very bad. I think I will retire for good or see if Matra can get me a second car. Would you drive it around and see if you can fix it for me?
When Louis Stanley looked away, I entered the car with JPB's helmet. Indeed, the car was not very good at all. I drove around five laps, and when I saw that Stanley was going to the bathroom (he went to the bathroom frequently), I entered the pits and got out of the car quickly. The mechanics thought I was Jean Pierre, who coincidentally also needed to go to the bathroom like his boss. Maybe the food they ate was bad...
I sat with Jean Pierre and gave him some tips. Improvements in suspension, moving the gas tank around, change the wing settings, front and back. All well was written in a piece of paper, in perfect French, one of the 25 languages I speak.
On Sunday, it rained cats and dogs. I had warned Rainier, who even had rain in his name. Well that is coincidence...
At race time, Beltoise jumped to the front, and would not relinquish first position and won. I was glad to have helped a friend ...
But ...
... I asked a mechanic where was the paper where I had written my tips for Jean Pierre. He told me that JP took the paper to the bathroom, for there was no toilet paper, and he had a gut episode, a terrible emergency.
- Did you change anything in the car?
- No, we left it the way it was in practice yesterday.
It was not my help after all. It was not a Chimentão day , it was Jean Pierre Beltoise's day ...
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